When we step onto the plane and head off on our first International secondment over seas, we change. How can we not. We move our family, our belongings and ourselves away from everything that is familiar to us. We are thrown into a new country, new culture and new life. There is no safety net, this is a sink or swim situation. If we don’t head out and make a life for ourselves no one will do it for us.
The change is not instantaneous, it happens gradually and often you don’t even notice it. It becomes obvious when visitors come to stay and are shocked that you buy your chickens, complete with heads and feet, at the local market without even blinking. You don’t put your seat belt on in taxis (very naughty but I confess I have been guilty of this) and no longer look surprised when a motor bike zooms past with a family of five on board.
Some changes however are more subtle. I noticed my children became very patriotic about Australia. Their Aussie accents were suddenly more pronounced and they proudly wore our National costume at the school International day. (Let me tell you, it was challenge trying to work out what our National costume was! We finally settled on convict’s one year and surf lifesaving uniforms the year after.)
Until we moved overseas, I had never seen the level of poverty that comes with living in a third world country. Working in an orphanage in Vietnam was life changing for me. Babies with treatable conditions were left to die in the “waiting room” because there weren’t the funds available to pay for life saving operations. I had no idea that in Australia I had been so protected from some of the harsher realities of life.
I don’t think there are many Expats who wouldn’t agree that the move over seas has changed them in some way. I know I am not the same person who left Australia 8 years ago with stars in my eyes and three children in tow.
So what happens when its time to go home? As one friend put it, “it’s like trying to put a new key in an old lock”. Those wonderful changes that have occurred can make it difficult to slot back into the life you knew before you moved over seas.
Over the past eight years I have had a few friends repatriate to their home countries. Some have gone willingly and some have been called back when they definitely weren’t ready to go. Whichever scenario, the move has been tough.
Friends and family back at home have continued life in your absence, probably doing similar activities to what they have always done. They find it hard to understand a life where getting on a plane is like taking the local bus! Or how frustrating it can be when your helper (who you love dearly), has done some spring-cleaning and you can’t find your tennis racquet anywhere. A life where going out at least three nights a week is the norm and where you need to be prepared to pack up your house at a moments notice and leave everything behind, if that’s what your spouse’s job demands.
I am very aware our eventual move back to Australia may not be as easy as what I have imagined. There is an expectation that since we are going back to what is familiar, it will be a smooth transition, but that isn’t always the case. I have decided, when the time comes, my strategy will be to view this move as another secondment. I will put time and energy in setting up a life back home, just as if I had moved to a foreign country. We have recently purchased a new home close to the city, and sold our existing family home, so the change in areas will be give us a fresh start. This part of being an Expat is not something you think about, or anyone tells you about, when you first head off on your overseas adventure.
I wouldn’t trade the experiences I have had as an Expat for anything. I have met some of the most amazing people and seen countries I honestly never thought I would visit. I have learnt more about life and people in the last eight years than I had done in the previous forty. However, I also realize that to an extent, we have become foreigners to our own country. My husband and I have no plans to move back home for a few years yet, but when we do, I want to be prepared.